After leaving Vault 101, Bodinski treated himself to a celebratory piss on the wooden vault door before observing his surroundings to consider his next move. He squatted down and scraped his finger through the sand, before sticking the very same digit in to his mouth.
‘…Dirt. Of course.’ he spoke aloud to himself.
Bodinski took a second taste just to be absolutely certain of his conclusion. He was still right: Dirt. Another brilliant deduction by Rev. Bodinski, P.I, BSc.
The corner stone of a healthy breakfast.
Bodinski already knew his primary target: a settlement called Megaton not too far from the vault entrance. He had hacked in to the Overseer’s personal computer before escaping Vault 101 earlier that very same day. Not only had Bodinski read all of the Overseer’s informative files regarding Megaton, but he had also emailed everyone the hundreds of raunchy pictures that he had found on the hard drive, including many of the Overseer dressed as a woman.
Heading straight to Megaton and just shooting everyone would be a dumb idea(albeit fun while it lasted), so Bodinski decided to first get some target practice at the school nearby.
To his dismay, the school was not full of children but fully grown and uncivilised thugs known as Raiders. It was swarming with them. Rev. Bodinski, P.I, BSc took cover and shot one of the unlucky thugs in the back of the head. This alerted the rest of the crew and a vicious shoot out ensued.
After many terrible shots from the Raiders, there was silence. One Raider yelled out:
‘Hey PUNK! Do you WANT to die?!’
To which Rev. Bodinski, P.I, BSc calmly replied:
‘Do you want my professional opinion?’
The goons exchanged bewildered looks.
‘Well… That depends, what IS your profession?’ answered a second Raider.
‘Good question, Steve!’ said another, rewarding his fellow bandit with a friendly pat on the back.
Bodinski appeared from behind the remains of the school wall, aiming his 10mm pistol between the eyes of Steve.
‘…I’m a self employed professional badass, Steve.’
Thrown off by the verbal exchange, the Raiders fumbled for their weapons, but to no avail. Bodinski narrowed his eyes and squeezed the trigger. Steve and his fellow raiders were each shot three times in the head.
‘Let this be a…LESSON.’ - Rev. Bodinski, P.I, BSc, 2077.
Bodinski calmly sauntered over the corpses of late adversaries and looked down on them, attempting to spit on one of them in a disrespectful manner. As it happens, he missed and got himself on the foot, but it was cool because no one saw it.
‘Hah,’ Began Bodinski, with his usual cocky tone ‘Here I thought you guys were supposed to be Raiders, but I guess you were just a bunch of GAYders.’
TO BE CONTINUED…